Albus Festivus
by Sarae64
Summary: It's Christmas time. It's Sam and Jack...what more do you need to know? Sam/Jack, Holiday/Romance/Angst, Complete
1. Chapter 1

Title: Albus Festivus  
Author: Sarae  
Status: Complete  
Category: Romance  
Pairings: Sam/Jack  
Spoilers: Reference to spoilers I've read for Heroes, Chimera, Grace and the Lost City. Also spoilers for Window of Opportunity.  
Season: After season Seven  
Rating: T  
Content Warnings: Some sexual inference  
Summary: It's Christmas time. It's Sam and Jack…what more do you need to know? ;)  
Disclaimer: Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, SciFi Channel, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.  
Author's Note: This is sap, fluff and pure fantasy, but isn't that part of why we write? I want to thank Audrey for her meticulous beta reading and Rosemary for her constant encouragement. I appreciate both of you ladies more than I can say.

Albus Festivus

© 2003 Sarae

Chapter 1

"_White Christmas_! It's 7 am on December 23 and I'm lying on the couch, wrapped in a blanket watching _White Christmas_. Carter, you're pathetic," Sam thought as she made herself as comfortable as possible. "No one can ever find out about this. I'd never hear the end of it."

Sam sighed and took another sip of the decaf coffee she'd grabbed at the drive thru on her way home from work an hour earlier. This time off had not been her idea, nor had it been a welcome suggestion from General Hammond. Keeping busy was keeping her sane. Ninety-six hours of solitude were a hell of a lot more than she wanted.

"What the hell am I gonna do for the next four days? Oh, and I know Daniel and Cassie will be over here, knocking on the door by tomorrow, if not later today. I guess I shouldn't have lied to them," she thought feeling another twinge of guilt. "But she has Janet's mom, and Daniel will spend time with them, and well, I didn't really lie. I mean, I just told them Mark was expecting me. He is. I just have no plans to visit him. Ah, stop thinking about it! Watch the movie. It'll take your mind off things. You need to relax. Come on, you'll never have the reality, so enjoy the fantasy."

Her eyes were growing heavy. She was toasty warm, snuggled under her blanket and she desperately wanted to sleep. If she was going to have four days off, she was bloody well going to spend the majority of them sleeping. If she could just relax…

The movie was helping. She was relaxing, feeling sleepy, and before long, she was dreaming. Jack was suddenly a crooning ex-Colonel and Daniel was his younger, exuberant partner. They'd just arrived at a nightclub owned by Teal'c to watch Sam and Janet perform their sister act at the request of their brother, Jonas, an old Air Force pal of Jack and Daniel.

Sam really had no idea how long she'd been asleep. She was warm and comfortable for the first time in weeks and dreaming happy, silly, sappy scenes. She and Jack were sitting in front of a cozy fire in an inn owned by General Hammond, eating liverwurst sandwiches and drinking buttermilk, while he sang to her about counting blessings instead of sheep. But then, she heard him calling her name. He called her Sam…not Carter…and he said it softly, almost like a whisper. Suddenly, he wasn't beside her, near the fireplace any longer. She felt panic arise in her as she stood to look around.

Again she heard him softly calling her name. She called out to him, "Where are you?" As he continued to call her name, her consciousness slowly pulled itself out of the dream state. She opened her eyes slightly, and reality came crashing back to her. The White Christmas DVD menu was playing repeatedly on her television and she was still on the couch. She squinted to make out the time on the VCR under the DVD player. The realization that she'd only been home for three hours caused her to groan. That meant she'd probably only slept for about an hour, or possibly an hour and a half.

Sam sat up and rubbed her right hand over her face before bringing it up to scratch her head. "This is going to be a very long holiday if I can't sleep more than an hour at a time," she thought. "Should I watch the rest of the movie or try to sleep in my bed?" Sam mulled the choice over. Finishing the movie won out, but as she moved to pick up the remote, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Someone was watching her. She could feel it.

Her heart was beginning to pound rapidly as she took a deep breath and slowly turned to look over the back of the couch. She cried out slightly, startled by the ghostly apparition she saw standing between the couch and the bar that separated her kitchen from her living room. Then he called her name again.

She stumbled in her haste to get off the couch, never taking her eyes from the sight before her. He had been calling her. He awakened her from the first pleasant dream she'd experienced in months. But then, she wasn't sure she was really awake? She was beginning to think her dream just took a very bizarre turn. He called her 'Sam', after all.

"Jack?" she asked, as she pulled herself to her feet. "Did I just say that?" she thought "Damn! I've really got to watch myself. I might think of him as Jack, but I shouldn't call him Jack. "

The smile and look of relief that spread across his face made her heart skip a beat and she found herself returning the smile as she moved slowly toward him. Just as she reached out to touch him with a tentative hand, he disappeared. She took a step back.

"What the hell is going on?" she asked as she continued to back up. "You are losing it, Carter." She felt a sob catch in her throat as she brought a hand to her mouth. Her eyes were stinging now and she blinked to try and keep the tears from building up in her eyes. "This is not funny," she said, just in case he had not been a hallucination. She'd experienced enough strange phenomena in the past few years to rule out any possibility.

She dropped her hand and grasped the back of the couch with both hands as she took a deep breath and tried to clear her head. Just when she had calmed herself down, another apparition appeared. This time it wasn't Jack.

"Thor?" Sam asked, not entirely sure the Asgard she saw before her was Thor.

"Greetings, Major Carter," Thor said.

"Why are you here?" she asked, trying to keep her mounting excitement at bay.

"Colonel O'Neill has…"

"Uh, that's 'General' O'Neill, now." Sam interrupted Thor. Thor turned his head and Sam could swear she heard Jack somewhere in the distance, but she couldn't understand what he was saying.

"General O'Neill?" Thor questioned as he turned back to face Sam.

"Yes," Sam said, smiling. She was pleased that her ploy had worked so well. She now knew Jack was alive and she had his attention. "He was promoted…posthumously."

"Quid!?" Yep, that was Jack. She would recognize his voice anywhere.

Thor conferred with Jack again. She knew that's what he was doing, she just didn't know why.

"General O'Neill is puzzled," Thor continued.

"Well, what is General O'Neill puzzled about?" Sam asked, trying to hide her giddiness.

"He clearly is not deceased, so how could he be posthumously promoted?" Thor asked.

"The Air Force listed him as 'missing in action and presumed dead'. He knows the drill. It has been several months since we put him in the stasis pod. We had no way of knowing that he was with you," Sam explained. "Why is he hiding?" she asked as she saw Thor turn to converse with Jack again. Sam was losing patience with using Thor as the middle-man. She wanted to talk to Jack. If she couldn't be face to face with him, she wanted to be face to face with his holographic projection. She liked Thor well enough, but he wasn't Jack.

"He is not hiding Major Carter," Thor said as he turned his face back toward Sam. "The communication platform is too narrow to make both of us visible to you. O'Neill has asked me to communicate with you because he is still struggling to regain his ability to speak in your language. He has made a remarkable recovery, but more treatments are necessary."

"And that's why he hasn't returned?" Sam asked, trying to clarify the situation.

"Yes," said Thor. "However, he wanted to inform you that he is recovering and will be returning…" Thor stopped mid-sentence as Sam heard Jack say something else she didn't understand.

"O'Neill wants to know when you will be going back to the base," Thor said, cocking his head slightly.

"Oh, not for a few days," Sam replied, feeling a slight blush creep onto her cheeks. "General Hammond insisted that SG-1 take a few days off."

Sam could hear more conferring between Thor and Jack. She was really beginning to get anxious. What if Thor would not let him back on the platform before he left? Suddenly she was making a wish like a child. Closing her eyes, she wished to see Jack for just a few more minutes. It was all she wanted for Christmas.

"He wants to know if you have plans for the holiday," Thor asked and Sam got the feeling he didn't really know what he was asking.

"Uh…no," Sam said. She looked away, feeling embarrassed and not really knowing why.

"You will not be spending time with your colleagues for the next several days?" Thor inquired.

"No," Sam said, again avoiding eye contact.

Suddenly Thor disappeared, or rather the image of Thor disappeared and Sam felt very alone. She waited, barely breathing, for something to happen. But nothing did.

"So, thanks for stopping by," she said sarcastically, after several minutes had passed. She walked around and plopped herself back on the couch. For half a second, she considered calling Daniel and telling him Jack was alive, but then decided it would be best if she kept the whole thing to herself. She could picture psych evaluations, physical evaluations, more reports. "Nope," she thought, she didn't need the hassle for a thirty-second transmission; a thirty-second transmission that had been one-tenth Jack and nine-tenths Thor.

Sighing heavily, she pulled the blanket back over herself as she shifted around to get comfortable again. "At least I know he's alive," she thought and she felt a wave of warmth rush over her. She picked up the remote and clicked the link to start the movie again.

A few minutes later, Sam sighed again and pointed the remote at the TV to switch the movie off. Her mind refused to let go of Jack. Now that she'd seen him…she wanted to 'see' him. Sleep was no longer an option. She was wide awake and her mind was running on overdrive. At this rate, she would go stir crazy before noon.

"I really did see them, right?" She asked herself that question over and over. She'd been so sleepy when the vision of Jack first appeared that she was beginning to question herself. Why had they come? Why had they contacted her? Just to let her know he was alive? That was it?

She supposed that was reason enough and she chided herself for thinking she needed more good news than that. It was just that she had so many questions now, and had no way to ask them. He had to know that would be incredibly frustrating for her. "Oh, that man can be so exasperating," she exclaimed.

She picked up the mess from her breakfast and walked into her kitchen to put it in the garbage can. Knowing that she could not find the answers to her questions, she desperately tried to decide what to do next. Sam really didn't want to put this burden on Daniel and Cassie. She didn't want to travel to San Diego either. Trying to get a flight at this late date would not only be expensive, but the crowds would be horrendous. At the very least she didn't want to be around for Daniel to try and cheer up. He'd been hovering over her like a mother hen for the past several weeks and it was beginning to annoy her. She knew he was only concerned for her welfare and wanting to help. Trouble was, she didn't want any help, he didn't deserve her current mood and she was just too exhausted to keep up appearances.

Sam ran some options through her head. She kept coming to the same conclusion, no matter how hard she tried to think of another choice. She didn't know if it was the holiday, her weakened state or the fact that she had quite possibly lost her mind, but she had made her decision and was determined to follow through. "MacKenzie would have a heyday with this one," she thought as she went into her bedroom to pack.

Several hours later, Sam unloaded groceries, set up the small fir tree she'd purchased and started a fire in the fire place, more to replace the musty stale air than to warm the place. She opened the sliding doors to the deck for a while to help air things out. It had been several months since she'd last been to Jack's house.

He'd left the house to Cassie, with Sam as the executor. Neither of them could bring themselves to even contemplate selling the house yet. So, Sam made occasional visits to clean things up, get the place ready for winter, etc. She'd been trying to distance herself from it, knowing that eventually, Cassie would need the money it could bring for school and other expenses.

However, this holiday, Sam was beginning to settle in. The fire and the tree were creating a homey, cozy aroma and atmosphere. She dug into the bag of decorations purchased that day. This close to Christmas, the selection was limited, but the sales were good.

By the time the tree was decorated, the sun had set. The moon had risen and was casting a blue glow on the snowy landscape outside. The large windows surrounding the stone fireplace provided an exquisite view. She'd placed the four-foot tree in the corner to the left of the fireplace so she could sit on the couch and enjoy both the lights from the tree and the snowy vista outside.

Sam fixed herself a cup of cocoa and put her _White Christmas _DVD in the player. She turned off all the lights except the multi-colored twinkle lights on the tree. The glow of the fire and the Christmas lights provided a cheery, warm atmosphere and her spirits brightened as she snuggled into the couch to watch the movie again.

It wasn't long after she sat down when everything caught up with her. She was exhausted. She really needed to sleep and the couch just was so comfortable.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Jack was struggling to maintain control. It had been far too long since he'd seen home and seeing Sam again was enough to fill him to overflowing. The past few months had been excruciating. He had no idea how long he'd floated in the stasis pod before Thor had located and beamed him aboard the ship. Unlike the last go around with the knowledge of the Ancients, the Asgard had not been able to simply remove the archive of information. This was in part because Thor did not have the resources necessary for that procedure on the ship, and partly because they were not sure they could repeat the procedure without killing Jack.

"I don't know how many more of these tedious, monotonous, boring – did I mention tedious? - treatments I can stand," Jack thought. "I can write and I'm beginning to feel dumb as a stump again, so I must be getting close."

He'd endured many such treatments to remove the Ancient's knowledge little by little. His ability to speak in English was still severely hampered, and being in the midst of a bunch of Asgard wasn't helping; they tended to speak Asgard, not English.

However, throughout the entire process, the ability to say one English word had never left him. That word was Sam. He found it odd that he could say Sam, but if he was truthful with himself, when he thought of his Major, he thought of her as 'Sam'. He may have trained himself to call her Carter, but in the deepest recesses of his mind, where he buried his desires, fantasies and dreams, he thought of her as Sam.

Now that he'd seen her again, he had to 'see' her again…and not just 'see' her. He wanted to touch her, to try and talk to her, to have her talk to him. News that the Air Force considered him dead just added to the overwhelming desire to be where she was. He knew he was not yet ready to return to Earth full time, but he felt a visit would do more good than harm.

She needed a boost too. He could tell. She'd looked beautiful, as always, but she'd looked tired and pale. She'd been watching _White Christmas_ for crying out loud! She was alone in her house, in the dark, on the morning of the day before Christmas Eve. There were no decorations, no merriment at all in her house and she was eating fast food! She was in serious need of intervention and since he'd cut the transmission between Thor and Sam, he'd been doing his best to convince Thor of the same thing.

And she'd called him 'Jack'.

His persuasive arguments finally won Thor over and so when the ship was within range, Jack was beamed to a point very near Sam's biosignature. He was just a little surprised when he arrived; he hadn't expected to be in his own house.

He surveyed the living room and found even more surprises. Sam was sleeping on the couch and the _White Christmas_ DVD menu was once again playing repeatedly on the television. There was a dying fire in the fireplace and, most surprising of all, there was a small Christmas tree, completely decorated, in the corner.

Jack walked quietly toward the tree and inhaled deeply as he reached out and gingerly touched one of the ornaments. This house had never had a Christmas tree in it. He had no decorations, no lights, nothing. He'd left all that with Sara when they'd separated. Since Charlie had died, he'd celebrated only with the others at their homes…mostly Janet's and mostly because of Cassie.

He backed away from the tree as his emotions threatened to overwhelm him. He looked at the clock and then over at Sam. It was pretty early. He reasoned that she was in serious need of sleep if she was out at such an early hour.

He walked stealthily out of the living room, down the hall and into his bedroom. He was once again surprised to find things cleaner than he'd left them. His bed was made, no doubt with fresh sheets. Walking to his closet, he desperately hoped she hadn't cleaned it out.

He was pleased to find that most of his things were still where he expected to find them. He quickly shed the drab tunic and pants the Asgard had provided and quickly dressed himself in his own clothes. He smiled as the feel of cotton, denim and leather enveloped his body. It had been a very long time and he was a bit disturbed to find that his clothes were a bit large. He was so going to eat over the next couple of days. His stomach rumbled at the thought, but he pushed that thought aside and continued to search the closet.

There was a particular box he was looking for. This stash box had a tidy sum of cash he kept for emergencies. He planned to go do a little shopping before he came back and let Sam know he was here. He had to use cash, as he didn't to leave any evidence of his visit behind.

Cash in hand after the box had been found, he crept back into the living room and searched for Sam's car keys. Minutes later, he was out the door. He took just a minute to enjoy the falling snow. "Funny," he thought, "I never thought I'd miss snow."

When he returned from his shopping trip, he found Sam was no longer sleeping on the couch, the TV was turned off, the fire had been reduced to a few glowing embers and the tree lights were off. He was cautious and quiet as he laid Sam's keys back where he'd previously found them. He quietly placed his gift-wrapped package under the backside of the tree as soon as his eyes adjusted to the dimly moonlit room.

In silence, he began searching the house. It didn't take long to find Sam; she was snuggled in bed, 'his' bed, apparently having decided to bed down for the night. Jack glanced at the alarm clock on his headboard, and decided he wouldn't wake her; she obviously needed sleep and he was feeling a little tired. So he quietly shed his coat and crawled under the covers on the other side of the bed.

It wasn't as though they hadn't slept in close proximity to each other. They had, on many occasions. Truth be told, they'd even found themselves rather entangled on some mornings, but always they'd been dressed in BDUs, off-world and on duty. This was different. While he desperately wanted to move over and spoon her, he restrained himself, feeling fortunate that he'd gotten this close without waking her. Jack didn't want to push his luck. He lay there in the bed next to her and listened to her breath for quite some time before he finally drifted off himself.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Hmm…" Sam thought as her consciousness drifted out of dreamland, "I don't want to wake up. This is the best dream I've had in months." She nuzzled her nose into that warm soft crook between Jack's jaw and neck and relished the feel of the firm shoulder under her cheek. Then her body became aware of the arm underneath her neck and the arm resting on her ribs. And then of the legs her legs were stroking. Confusion and fear mixed as she rapidly extracted herself from the body she found herself entangled with and sat up.

"Uh…savete?" Jack said as he looked at her with concern.

"What the…" Sam said as she struggled to grasp the situation she found herself in. "Oh, my God…Jack?" she added as she scrambled off the bed and stood on the side opposite the one he was laying on.

"Decetuit, decetuit…" he said with a calm, soothing voice.

Angry that she'd slipped and called him by his first name again, she straightened and said, "I mean, General, sir." She was pleasantly surprised to see him, but dying of embarrassment that he'd found her in his bed. "This cannot be happening," she thought.

She watched the lazy smile that had graced his face fade rapidly. He turned and sat on the edge of the bed, shook his head and grumbled, "Acclamare".

She forgot her embarrassment as concern took center stage. "What's wrong?" she asked as she moved around the bed to face him. "Please, sir, let me apologize. I shouldn't be here, I…" He raised his hand and cut her off mid-sentence.

She stood by, dumbfounded and watched as he got up and walked to a desk on the far side of the room. He pulled out a piece of paper and a pen and sat down to write. How good it was to see him and how thin he looked invaded her thought processes. She found herself blushing in embarrassment again when he turned and startled her out of her reverie by handing her a piece of paper.

She was startled by the intensity of the emotions displayed on his face. He was usually so good at keeping what he was feeling from others. "His time with the Asgard has changed him," she thought.

"I'm dead. No 'sir', no regs. Just 'Jack'," she read the note out loud. Her heart started thumping as the meaning behind those words sank in. "You're not staying, are you?" she asked, afraid to hear his answer. A 'yes', would mean he'd leave again…for who knew how long. A 'no' would mean they had an opportunity she had not anticipated.

He shook his head and turned back to write more. She struggled to take a deep, calming breath and not appear that she needed one. Fortunately for her, his attention was on the paper again. He wrote quickly, hesitating as he struggled to remember the words he wanted to use.

"Here for a few days. Will go back with Thor for a while. Will return when I'm 'right' again. No one has to know I came. We can spend the time together. Return to normal when I come back for good. This can be whatever we want it to be. I leave it to you to decide," she read it out loud again.

When she looked at him, he was looking at his feet…which made her look at his feet. "Damn that man has sexy feet," she thought and then shook her head to repel the thought.

"Can we do that?" she asked. "Can we go back to normal, pretend nothing happened?"

He scribbled on yet another piece of paper.

"Can it be any more difficult than the pretending we've been doing?"

Sam considered his question. She watched his face as she ran scenarios through her head. Again she was taken aback at the emotions that played on his face. He was not normally so expressive.

It only took her a few minutes of looking into his deep chestnut eyes before she made her decision. She was not big on regrets…and if she turned this down she would regret it for the rest of her life. They may never have an opportunity like this again. How could she not take advantage of this? How could she tell him no again?

She could not stop herself from smiling. And she knew she was blushing too, but at that moment, she didn't care. Then he smiled too, and his eyes twinkled. "God, how I've missed that," she thought.

"You must be hungry," she said and smiled at his expression. His inability to speak might cause problems, but his new lack of hiding his emotions, was helping in the communication area. "I bought some groceries yesterday. Let's go see if we can find something you'll like."

"Crustum?" he asked.

"Uh…sure," she replied, though she had no clue what he asked.

He followed her down the hall and into the kitchen. She began rummaging through the bags of non-perishable or canned items she'd left on the counter in the kitchen. Then she turned holding the box of Bisquick she'd retrieved. "Do you have a waffle iron?" she asked.

She watched in amusement as his brow furrowed, and then his face brightened as he recalled the location of the appliance she wanted. A few minutes later, she was mixing up waffle batter and he had left the kitchen. After she started the first waffle in the iron, she turned to see where Jack went.

As she stepped out of the kitchen and into the dining area, she could see him standing near the sliding glass door to the deck. She wondered what he was thinking about and tried to imagine what it had been like to spend so many months with the Asgard. No real food, no 'outside', no human companionship…not unlike the time she'd spent trapped on the Prometheus. She shuddered at that memory. And he had to go back…for however long it would take to completely remove the remaining knowledge from the Ancient database that had been downloaded into his brain again.

The smell of waffles brought her out of her contemplation and sent her back into the kitchen. Before long she was serving up waffles with strawberries and whipped cream. She didn't even have to call Jack to the table; the aroma of the food did her job for her.

"Papae," he said as he approached the table.

"I hope that's a good thing?" she asked, chuckling.

"Aio," he said as he pulled out the chair in front of her and gestured for her to take a seat.

"Oh, thank you," she said, as she sat and he helped her scoot the chair in. Then he sat and promptly stuffed a fork full of strawberries and whipped cream into his mouth. She was rewarded with a pleasure induced groan and then an expression of pure bliss.

He ate his first helping rather quickly. She was amused by his obvious enjoyment of the food. He motioned for her to quit watching him and start eating her own food as he started dishing up second helpings of everything. "I'm sorry," she said, looking down at her plate, "it's just that…" but she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence. The old habit of suppressing such sentiments kicked in. Their eyes met and as they had so many times before, they communicated without saying a word. Pulling her gaze down to her plate, she felt a warm blush creeping onto her cheeks. She really was not used to Jack wearing his emotions on his sleeve and that's exactly what had been happening since he'd returned.

She thought to change the mood slightly by catching him up on what he'd missed while he was with the Asgard. When they had finished eating, she began clearing away the dishes, but was stopped by his hand on her arm.

"Posterus," he said and started tugging at her hand.

"But, I need to get this cleaned up and get some things started for dinner," she protested.

He looked at her questioningly, picked up his dishes and motioned for her to continue. Placing his dishes in the sink, he turned to her. "Quid a cenae?" he asked and then turned to look in the refrigerator.

"What?" she asked.

He found the breast of turkey she had purchased and pulled it out. "Is ea id?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah," she said, as comprehension dawned. "I was planning a small turkey dinner. I hope that sounds good to you."

Jack smiled and looked at the weight of the turkey. It weighed less than 8 pounds. "Ego habeo aetatis," he said and put the turkey back in the refrigerator.

Sam shook her head. "I don't know what you just said," she said.

He tugged at her hand again and she followed him down the hall. She was puzzled, but bemused. He pulled her into the bedroom and began looking through her bag. "What are you doing?" she asked, chuckling. He found a hat and scarf and threw them at her. Then he picked up a pair of sweat pants, a pair of thick socks, a sweatshirt and threw those at her as well.

"Okay, hold on," she said as she caught the shirt but dropped the socks. He ignored her and walked to his dresser. He pulled out a long sleeve shirt and slipped it on over his t-shirt. Then he opened another drawer and pulled out a stocking cap and a pair of gloves. He turned, pulled the hat on and looked at Sam.

She read his expression without difficulty. 'What're you waiting for?' his face asked.

"Where are we going?" she asked as she sat on the edge of the bed and pulled the sweat pants on over her pajama pants.

He just smiled, dug into his closet and pulled out some boots. He waited for her to get the sweatshirt, socks and hat on, then grabbed his coat and motioned for her to follow him. He stopped near the front door and indicated that she should put on her boots. Then he handed her coat and gloves to her. When they were finally dressed, he grabbed her hand and dragged her out through the sliding doors, over the deck and into the back yard.

"Okay," she said, squinting against the brightness of the sun on the snow, "what are we doing out here?"

"Hominis niveus," Jack exclaimed and bent over to pick up some snow.

"Oh, no," she said, starting back toward the house. "I'm not going to get into a snowball fight with you.

"Haut! Manto…" he said and bent over to begin rolling the ball into a larger ball. He stood up and made the shape of a snowman with his hands. "Hominis niveus…" he said again with a hopeful expression.

"A snowman?" Sam asked, frowning and smiling at the same time. "You want to make a snowman?"

"Aio," he said grinning broadly.

"Aio…that's yes?" Sam asked, deciding she'd better start paying attention to some of the words he'd been saying.

He nodded and motioned for her to join him. She looked at her watch and decided she could spare an hour if he really wanted to make a snowman. She shook her head and chuckled at the goofy expression he gave her.

They rolled three large balls of snow together and stacked them. Sam had to admit that she was having fun. It had been so long since she'd done anything fun, she'd almost forgotten what it felt like. They rummaged around and found a couple of sticks to make arms and Jack looked under the deck to retrieve several pebbles for the nose, eyes and mouth. Then she took off her scarf and wrapped it around the snowman's neck.

They stood back to admire their handiwork. "He is a fine, strong snowman," Sam declared and then giggled at the look Jack gave her. "What shall we call him?" she wondered aloud. Jack shook his head. "Yeah, me neither," she said and sighed, "I guess he will just be Snowman."

Jack shrugged and smiled. Suddenly, she had the urge to do something else she hadn't done since she was a kid, but she was having trouble finding the right place. Finally, she spotted an undisturbed section of the yard and ran towards it.

"Quid factionis ti?" Jack yelled as she ran across the yard.

"Oh, I'll just be a second," she yelled back. "I just have to make one," she said as she reached her destination and turned back to face his direction. Then she flopped onto her back and started moving her arms and legs back and forth as she giggled.

He walked up and stood at her feet as she finished making her snow angel. "Come on," she coaxed, "it's fun."

Jack smiled but shook his head. He offered her his hand to help her up.

"You're no fun," she mocked and reached up to accept his help. Then she pulled roughly on his hand and threw him into the snow next to her. She chuckled as she sat up and he rolled onto his back. He picked up a handful of snow and threw it at her face.

She spluttered as the snow hit her. Then she grabbed a handful of snow and descended on him, intending to return the favor. He blocked the snow with his hands and she flipped some up with the other. Pulling on her jacket he threw her to his side as he rolled over on top of her.

Sam was laughing so hard she was having difficulty catching her breath; it had been a very long time since she'd laughed like that. Jack laughed too as he straddled her and sat back on his calves.

She looked at his rosy cheeks and nose, listened to their laugher as it mixed in the frigid silence and became overwhelmed by the sudden desire to kiss him. Her laughter subsided as she considered her situation.

This whole scenario was just unreal. She didn't romp in the snow like a child. She didn't wrestle with her CO. She lived with restrictions, regulations, battles, intergalactic puzzles and impossible pressure situations.

How many times had she wished for a situation like this? How many times had she imagined what a time without regulations, without restrictions with him would be like? What if she'd built this up in her mind too much? What if this didn't live up to her or his expectations? Why was she finding this so awkward? Because it wasn't smart and it wasn't real.

She watched as his laughter subsided too. He looked at her and she saw a mix of concern and longing in the depths of his expressive brown eyes. She reminded herself that she was doing this for him. If he could do this, she could do this, even if it wasn't the smartest thing, even if she might hurt like hell later on.

She pushed herself up onto her left elbow and took off the glove off her right hand. She reached up and caressed his icy cheek and smiled. "We'd better get you back inside before your knee freezes in place."

He chuckled and pulled the glove off his right hand so he could take hold of hers. He stood and gave her a little tug. She stood right up and he wrapped his left arm around her to steady her. Neither of them moved. They stood there, their breath steaming between them, looking into each other's eyes.

Sam could stand it no longer. She leaned in tentatively, brushing her cold nose against his as he tilted his head slightly. Closing her eyes, she removed the short distance between them. Their lips brushed lightly at first, then his arm tightened around her and their lips met again with more pressure.

Any fear that she would be disappointed quickly melted away in the heat that began building within her. Any doubts that she had made the wrong choice in deciding to indulge this fantasy dissipated as well. She relaxed into his embrace and felt tears of relief sting at the back of her eyes.

She really did love this man. She had loved him for a very long time and for the first time, she didn't have to hide it. The release was overwhelming. She wanted to stay in his embrace forever, but it was cold and they were wet. Dinner was waiting to be cooked and she wanted to make a spectacular meal for him. And then later, she wanted to do more.

She reached her ungloved hand up to caress his cheek again and then slid her fingers over his lips as she backed away slightly, ending the kiss. She watched his face as he slowly opened his eyes and smiled that lazy smile she loved so much.

"We really need to get back inside," she whispered. He nodded his agreement and took hold of her ungloved hand. They walked back into the house, began peeling off wet clothes and placing them near the fireplace. Though her pajama pants were damp too, she left those and the sweatshirt on and went into the kitchen to get the turkey started before she changed.

She had just taken the turkey breast out of the refrigerator and was looking for a pan when she turned and noticed him standing, leaning against the doorframe smiling at her with the a self-satisfied, 'cat-ate-the-canary' grin. She grinned back at him, and then it occurred to her that she had seen that look before.

"What are you thinking about?" she inquired, her right brow raised and her left brow furrowed.

His reaction to her question puzzled her even more. He stood straight up and got one of those 'I just thought of something I have to do elsewhere' looks on his face. He pointed his thumb toward the living room and said "Uh…caminus." Then he turned and walked into the living room.

She followed after him, puzzled. She watched as he looked into the firewood bin and found it nearly empty. He looked up and indicated that he was heading out to split some more firewood in the back shed. She smiled and watched him put his coat and boots back on before heading back into the kitchen.

Sam sliced up an apple, a couple of celery stalks and peeled an onion before she heard him return. The whole time, she was trying to remember when she'd seen that expression on his face before - it was driving her crazy.

She tried to picture the last time that look had been on his face. Where had they been? He was smiling like that again…and then he…took a bite…of…OATMEAL! That was it! It was the time loop. Daniel had asked that question. She'd wondered for weeks why he'd smiled like that. Eventually, she just forgot about it.

"Whoa!" she thought, "He kissed me during the time loop?" Her mind was having difficulty processing that realization. "What the hell else did he do?" she wondered, seriously beginning to be concerned. "Because, if he kissed me then like he did just now…"

She dropped the onion she'd been peeling on the counter and stalked out of the kitchen. "You kissed me!" she accused as she turned the corner into the living room.

He turned and looked at her with an expression that said, "Duh!"

"No," she said, shaking her head and smiling to let him know that ploy wouldn't work. "During the time loop, you kissed me, didn't you?"

He crooked his brow and looked toward the ceiling, clearly acting like he was trying to recall the time loop.

"What else did you…we do?" she asked. "How could you take advantage of a situation like that? When you knew I wouldn't remember?" She was trying to control the anger that was building within her.

He looked around and she wasn't sure if he was looking for something or looking for a way out. Then he held up his hand, telling her to stay where she was. He approached her and put his hand up again to indicate that he was leaving, but that he would be right back.

"Where are you going?" she called after him as he disappeared down the hall. "Man, this communication barrier is beginning to be a pain," she thought.

Sam paced around the living room, trying to decide if she should follow him, go back into the kitchen or just wait in the living room. Looking over at the fireplace, she noticed that he hadn't gotten the fire started yet, so she put her energies into doing that.

Before long Sam had the fire crackling. Again the decision to wait, go to the kitchen or go find him plagued her. She was just about to do the latter when he walked back down the hall.

She turned and walked toward him when she heard him approach. "So…" she said, but the retort she held on her tongue remained unspoken as he handed her a piece of paper. "What's this?" she asked as she took the piece of paper and began to read the typed message that was printed on it. She read it silently as he walked around her to look at the fire she started.

"You…resigned before you kissed me?" she asked, turning to face him.

He raised his brows and nodded slightly.

She didn't quite know what to say about that. "And that's all that happened?" she asked. "Just the one time?"

He shrugged and nodded again. She shook her head and smiled at him. She was really quite touched. Repeating who knows how many iterations of the same ten hours, knowing that whatever he did would have no consequences, that the slate would be wiped clean - it wasn't dissimilar to the situation they currently found themselves in. He'd taken the regulations out of the picture then and they were taken out of the picture here as well. The only difference was that this time they would both remember.

Then a thought occurred to her. "Does Teal'c know about this?" she asked, suddenly very curious.

He gave a sheepish nod.

"And all this time, the two of you have kept this secret?"

He nodded again.

"I'm impressed," she said as she folded the piece of paper and slid it into the pocket of her sweatshirt. "I guess we'll have a little secret of our own after this, huh? Well, I mean a secret that Teal'c doesn't share."

Jack nodded. Sam nodded back and then pointed toward the kitchen. "Well, I'm gonna go back to the kitchen and finish what I started in there."

Jack nodded again. He gestured that he was going to go take a shower by pointing and scrubbing his fingers through his hair.

"You're going to take a shower?" Sam asked, just to clarify. Jack nodded again and patted his nose. She chuckled and walked back up the short steps into the dining area as he began his trek down the hall.

Sam looked at the vegetables and fruit she had cut up. The turkey wasn't yet ready for the oven, but suddenly cooking had lost its appeal. She looked at her watch. A few more hours could be spared because they could eat just a little later. The thought of a shower was enticing. The thought of a shower with Jack was too tempting to pass up.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

For years, she'd hoped for a someday with Jack where they would be free to share everything with each other. Until recently, she found that hope of a someday enough. This year, the reality that a someday might never happen had hit her over and over again. Now, she didn't want to wait any more. She put everything she'd prepared back in the refrigerator and turned off the kitchen light. Dinner could wait.

She heard the shower running as she walked down the hall. Excitement and anxiety grew in her as she neared his bedroom. She heard him humming _Winter Wonderland_ as she searched for a towel and she stifled a giggle. Once a towel had been located, she stripped off her clothes and wrapped the towel around herself. Taking a quick glance at herself in the nearly fogged over mirror, she opened the door to the shower.

At first, Jack was startled and took a defensive posture. Then the look of shock transformed as his mind deciphered the scene before him. He straightened his posture and reached a hand out toward her and the look on his face sent shivers down her spine. She lifted her chin slightly and met his intense gaze with her own. Then she took hold of his hand, let the towel drop and stepped into the shower with him.

She closed the door with her trailing hand as she hesitated slightly. She read his expression and knew immediately that he had misinterpreted her hesitation. He was asking her with his eyes if she was sure about what she was doing. She smiled to reassure him and then slowly moved her chilled body into his steamy embrace. When their bodies contacted, his understanding of her hesitation became crystal clear. He shivered and smiled and then guided her under the stream of steamy water.

Sam was unprepared for the rush of emotions that accompanied their lovemaking. It had been a very long time, nearly a year, since she had last made love to anyone. Her time with Pete had been lovely, but nothing like this. With Pete she was always hiding…her work, the fact that no matter how hard she tried, thoughts of Jack invaded every moment she spent with him.

With Jack, there was no hiding, no holding back. She had longed for this and fantasized about this for longer than she wanted to admit. And it was more than she could have hoped for. He was stronger than she thought, more tender than even she imagined. She was thankful for the shower as the water masked the tears she could no longer hold back.

When the water began to turn cold, they exited the shower, dried each other off and continued their tender ministrations to each other in his bed. And it was there that she finally said the three words she had longed to say for so many years.

She whispered, "I love you," to him as they lay on their sides, face to face, arms and legs entangled. The expression on his face nearly caused her heart to burst. He smiled, but his eyes were moist and he stroked her cheek as he opened his mouth. Then he closed his eyes and mouth and she could feel his frustration. "It's okay," she whispered, as she stroked his cheek with her fingers. "Someday…" she began, but a lump rose up in her throat. She swallowed it but managed to get out, "…soon."

Then her stomach growled. She giggled and felt relief wash over her as the weight of their emotions was lifted. "So," she said, unable to keep from grinning, "let's go make that dinner, shall we? You must be hungry."

They spent the remainder of the day cooking, eating, and cuddling in front of the fireplace and tree. They turned in rather early, and Sam was surprised to find that Jack had tidied the bedroom and had put fresh sheets on the bed. They made love long into the wee hours of the morning until they were both sated and exhausted. Then they fell into a peaceful contented slumber.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Sam woke to find Jack looking at her with an adoring smile on his face. She returned his smile and then stretched as she looked at the clock. She was shocked to discover that it was nearly 10:00 am. "I've never slept this late on Christmas in my entire her life," she thought. She leaned in, kissed him and then whispered "Merry Christmas, Jack."

"Perbeatus festivum, Sam," he whispered back. Then he crawled out of bed and slipped into his robe.

"Where are you going?" she asked, curious, but not concerned.

He held up his hand and motioned for her to stay where she was. She watched his barefoot, robed, retreating form. "Damn that man has sexy feet," she thought. She kept an eye on the door anxious to watch his feet and the body they carried return.

To her delight, he was only gone a few minutes. She was astonished when he approached the bed and placed the small, beautifully wrapped, cube on the bed beside her.

"How did you? Where did you get this?" she asked, her brow furrowing as she sat up, holding the sheet to her chest with one hand. Sam giggled when he made the shape of a Santa hat on his head with his hands. "But Santa Thor already brought me my present…" she said and added softly, "…you."

He raised his brows and grinned broadly, then sat on the bed and pushed the box toward her, indicating that she should open it. "But I didn't get anything for you…" she protested. He shushed her, picked the box up and placed it on her lap.

She picked the box up and admired the wrapping job. "Did you wrap it yourself?" she asked. He glared at her and motioned for her to get on with opening it up. "All right," she giggled and began to carefully unwrap the package.

Jack slapped a hand to his forehead as he watched her remove each piece of tape. "Hey, it's a gorgeous wrapping job. I want to save the paper." He promptly reached out and tore the paper from the side facing him.

"Okay, okay," she giggled as she pulled the box away from his reach. "I'll open faster. Geez, can't a girl enjoy unwrapping a Christmas gift?" A few seconds later, the wrapping paper was gone and Sam was looking at plain white gift box. She opened the lid of the box and found a layer of foam padding. Removing that layer, she found a small, clear glass ball peeking out from more foam padding.

She grasped the glass ball and carefully pulled it from the box. More foam padding came up and out with the ball and she discovered that the ball was actually a snow globe on a gold trimmed, ceramic base. The entire object was about four inches tall.

Sam gasped as she held it in her hands. "Oh, it's beautiful," she exclaimed as she began to take in the details. The globe held a sculpture of a Victorian style home and a snowy winter scene. Jack moved closer and held out his hand. She handed him the globe, knowing instantly that he wanted to show her something about it. He wound the music box up and pushed the on switch then handed the globe back to her.

She was delighted to see that the lights in the little house glowed and her breath caught in her throat when she heard the tune. The little music box plinked out the notes to "White Christmas". She felt tears stinging the back of her eyes again as the meaning of the globe reached her. This would be a keepsake of their secret, a memento of their time together, a solid reminder that it had not all been a dream.

"Thank you, Jack," she said and leaned in to kiss him and then pulled him down beside her so she could give him a proper thank you.

* * *

Sam thoroughly enjoyed her Christmas Day. They began the day with pumpkin pie and later ate leftovers from their turkey dinner. They watched movies and a little football, cuddled in front of the fireplace, played a couple of games of chess and even took another shower. It was close to a perfect day as far as Sam was concerned. In the evening, they returned to his bedroom. They spent several more hours cherishing each other and just as slumber beckoned to her, she heard Jack whisper, "Ego…"

He stopped, closed his eyes and shook his head. Sam became concerned as she felt his frustration again. Jack opened his eyes and she saw determination replace the frustration. He opened his mouth and tried again, "I caritas…"

Again he stopped, closed his eyes and set his jaw. "It's okay," she whispered to him. Jack shook his head and opened his eyes, determined to try one more time.

"I love you, Sam," he finally said. She bit her lip to stop herself from tearing up yet again. Love, adoration, happiness, contentment, freedom, warmth…words could not being to describe how she felt at that moment. "I know," she said as she stroked his cheek again. "I know." She could do nothing but smile as she drifted off, wrapped in his arms, satisfied, liberated, cozy, and peaceful.

Sam woke the next morning to find herself alone. She listened intently, hoping to hear him fumbling in the bathroom, the kitchen, the hall…anyplace in the house. The silence caused her ears to buzz.

She scrambled out of bed and threw on his robe, which was still at the foot of the bed. She searched throughout the house. Her heart was pounding and causing her ears to throb as she searched through room after room and found them empty.

Her chest ached as she began to accept the idea that he had gone as quickly as he arrived. She returned to the bedroom, her mind whirling once again. She tried to formulate a coherent thought other than "He's gone!"

How had he gone without awakening her? How could they come and take him away so soon? Why was she so upset when she knew this was going to happen? Sam sat on the edge of the bed and took several deep breaths to try and stop from hyperventilating. She couldn't think, couldn't feel. She was numb.

Suddenly, the last two days felt very much like an incredibly wonderful and realistic dream. But it had been real. She turned to search for the snow globe, suddenly needing to touch it, to see it.

She spotted it on the desk and walked over to find it sitting on top of a hastily scribbled note.

"Got to go now. I will return. Thank you for my holiday. I love you."

"Get control, Carter," she told herself. "You knew this was coming. You went in with your eyes open. Get a handle on it!"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Sam returned to the mountain early Saturday morning. She'd kept herself busy removing everything from Jack's house and getting caught up on her household chores. Through it all, Jack was never far from her thoughts. For as hard as she was finding dealing with the loss of Sam and Jack and returning to her Carter routine, she knew he had the tougher road to travel.

She was still surrounded by the familiar. There would be work, colleagues and friends to occupy her time. Distractions to keep her from dwelling on what she could no longer have would be prevalent. Though she hurt, felt his absence greatly, and constantly wondered how long it would be before he returned, she'd come to appreciate the gift she'd been given.

He was not dead, after all. She had tasted life again and their time together had reminded her of what a precious gift it is. Even more than that, she'd been given back a glimmer of hope that had been absent for a very long time.

A few hours later, she looked up from her computer to see Daniel and Teal'c enter her lab together. Daniel had been regaling Teal'c with some tale, but he stopped mid-sentence when he saw her sitting behind her computer.

"Hey, Sam," Daniel said, smiling and continuing further into the room.

"Hey, Daniel." She smiled back at him.

"Major Carter," Teal'c said as he gave a quick nod and followed behind Daniel, his hands clasped behind him in typical Teal'c fashion.

"Teal'c," she replied. "I hope you enjoyed your time away from us."

"Indeed I did," he nodded as he spoke. "And did you enjoy your time away as well?" he asked.

Sam smiled as she considered her reply. As she looked at Teal'c, all she could think about was how long he'd been keeping the time loop secret and how much she wanted to ask him about it. "But then," she reminded herself, "it would no longer be a secret."

And a secret it had to remain, a secret between Jack and him that she just happened to know. Now, she and Jack had their own secret, a secret that no one could know. And it would be hard to keep.

She badly wanted to share her joy in the knowledge that he was alive and that he would be returning to them…eventually. She wanted to tell them and anyone who would listen how much she…

"She must have," Daniel said, interrupting her train of thought. "Look at that smile on her face. I haven't seen one of those in awhile."

Sam shook her head and shifted her gaze back to her computer.

"Hey, what's this?" He held up the snow globe as he parked his rear on the corner of her desk. "Did you get this for Christmas?" he asked.

"Yes, I did," she said and her smile grew.

"It's lovely," Daniel said as he held it up to give it a closer look.

"Yes, it is," she replied.

"May I see it, Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c asked as he moved next to Daniel and held out his hand. Daniel handed it to him and then reached up to wind the music box.

"Hey, it's a music box," he said as he pushed the switch to turn it on.

"And it is illuminated," Teal'c said as the little windows again emitted a warm glow.

Sam looked up as she heard the tune tinkle out of the globe. Teal'c had a rather peculiar expression on his face as he looked away from the globe and toward her. She felt a twinge of panic as she wondered if Teal'c somehow knew. Then she forced the panic away. "How could he know?" she thought. Get it together or you'll blow this the first day. If he can do it, you can do it. If Jack can do it, you can do it.

"What?" she asked, swallowing a lump in her throat.

"The melody is familiar, but I do not recall its title," Teal'c said.

"It's White Christmas, Teal'c," Daniel said and looked to Sam with a smile. "It's one of Sam's favorites, isn't it Sam?"

"Yes, Daniel," she answered. "It's one of many people's favorites," she added with a little chuckle.

"This must be pretty special, if you brought it here," Daniel asked as he placed the globe back on the desk.

"Yes, it is," she answered.

"And that's all you're going to say, isn't it?" he asked.

"Yes, it is," she replied. The look on her face must have convinced him that further inquiries would be fruitless because he stopped asking questions and stood up.

"Well, as I was just telling Teal'c…" Daniel continued to report about the Christmas he, Cassie and Janet's mom had experienced. Sam listened and laughed. Daniel was an artful storyteller.

In the back of her mind she made a decision. Sam had brought the globe with her because she could not yet bear to be too far away from it and because she had been unable to decide if she wanted it near her at work, where she spent the majority of her time, or if she wanted it near her at home. Now she knew that home was where it belonged.

Though she found it comforting, it was distracting. It was a reminder of her time with Jack as 'Sam', but when he returned, she would have to be Carter to his O'Neill. The secret would be much easier to keep if his comforting reminder was safely tucked away in her home.

As Daniel finished his story, he looked at his watch. "Well, folks, it's about time for that briefing…back to business as usual, huh?"

Sam put her computer to sleep and smiled. "Yep, back to business as usual," she thought and wondered how much longer it would be before they were really back to business as usual, with Jack back on Earth, speaking English and making their team whole again. She walked up behind them, placed a hand on each of their shoulders and pushed them through the door in front of her. "Yes boys, vacation is over. Let's get back to work."

The End


End file.
